Georgy Porgy
Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie blew them all away.
To Market, To Market
To market, to market, to buy a handgun,
Home again, home again. Wow, that was fun!
To market, to market to buy seven Uzis,
I got them, too, and boy, are they doozies!
To market, to market, to buy a new Glock,
But there was a shooting, so they closed down the block.
Mary, Mary
Mary, Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With carbine clips and hollow tips,
And tombstones all in a row.
Little Jack Horner
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Holding his Daddy’s Colt.
He gave the trigger a squeeze
Blew off one of his knees
And said, “AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!
Patty Cake, Patty Cake
Patty cake, patty cake
Gun show man,
Sell me a gun,
as fast as you can!
I’ll pay for it, pronto,
with no guarantee
That I won’t use it
for my first killing spree!